Serves Two
by Tsuki no Tennyo
Summary: Sess/Kag. AU. – The way to a man's heart is through his stomach, or so Kagome's been told.
1. Kale Me Now

**Author's Note:** When your life feels like a shit show, just upload something you wrote like three years ago! – Totally Wise Words from Yours Truly

Yes, hi, this is just one of many random chaptered stories I've written on-and-off in the past years. Of course, it's nowhere near completion. But I still wanted to post it anyway because I obviously hate myself :)

* * *

**Kale Me Now**

* * *

"Sometimes I don't think he's a picky eater," Kagome griped as she pulled a casserole dish out of the oven, the sight of the macaroni and four-cheese was the only thing that cooled her temper, "He just likes fucking with me. He likes to see me go crazy when I have to pick up his weird ass fruit from some shady salesman at the market in Chinatown."

"That's not nice perpetuating stereotypes," Kikyou pointed out.

"The guy was _Canadian_. He wasn't even that nice to me." Kagome answered sullenly, placing the hot dish in the middle of the counter on a wooden serving board.

Sango poured herself another glass of white wine, taking a sip before remarking, "It's been three years since you've started working for him. He should give you another raise for working so hard."

Kikyou nodded in agreement. "You're always over there day and night cooking for him."

"I'm a personal chef," Kagome pointed out to her two roommates, "That _is_ kind of a big part of my job description."

Sango helped herself to a generous portion of the mac and cheese. "Yes, but I don't recall the last time you've taken a vacation. It's been a while since you've went back to Japan to visit your family."

"Mama understands how busy I am. I sent home care packages all the time, though."

"I think she would rather have a 'Kagome' in one of the packages," Kikyou commented, blowing on her forkful of macaroni. Seeing her friend's instant guilt-ridden expression, Kikyou immediately added, "I know! Tell the bastard to give you a couple weeks off! We'll all go back home to visit!"

"Sounds like a good idea," Sango added, grinning. "He can live off of a couple weeks of frozen dinner, right? Or does he expect caviar every day?"

"He actually hates caviar," Kagome said, a bit of fondness crept into her voice. Seeing her friends' confused looks, she quickly added that she would think about it. She finished cleaning up as her roommates ate and continued to complain about her boss.

"Alright," Kagome sighed, taking her apron off and throwing it on the third unoccupied stool. "You ladies enjoy dinner. I have a picky tycoon to go feed now. He'll probably keep me there all night until I make something he likes."

"Bring home leftover!" Sango hollered over her shoulder.

"Oh, they'll be _plenty_," Kagome promised.

**.**

Kagome barely gotten out of the elevator that dropped her off at the penthouse floor when she was bombarded by Jaken, the loyal assistant to their extremely picky boss.

"Where have you been, wench?" the short man yelled as he took several fearful glances behind his shoulder.

"Um," she started, used to his lowly treatment of her since day one, "I always get here at this time. What's up, Jaken?"

"'What's up' is Mr. Nishimura's foul temper!"

"How can you tell the difference?" she wondered aloud, convinced that her boss only had three expressions: bored, annoyed, and grumpy, though they all seemed to overlap more often than not. She entered the passcode for the digital lock, and walked in with Jaken in tow. She was surprised to see two more people sitting in the living room.

"Oh!" she took a glance at Jaken again, realizing why he was particularly nervous this evening. "We have additional dinner guests, Mr. Nishimura?"

"Little chef!"

Kagome let out a weak "oof!" when she was enveloped into a tight hug by the only other woman in the room. She returned the hug once her surprise wore off. "It's good to see you again, Mrs. Nishimura."

"I am so sorry to bombard on you like this, dear, but if I don't show up unannounced like this then you know Sesshoumaru will skitter off and hide from me again!" she said with a pout, though Kagome realized by now from past experiences that the older woman lacked any sense of remorse for anything and everything. In any case, annoying her son was a particular favorite hobby of hers, one that she would randomly embark on at least once a month.

"Mother, kindly remove yourself from my chef," Sesshoumaru said lowly.

"Possessive, isn't he!" his mother crowed.

"Um," Kagome blushed at the comment before skulking off to the kitchen located adjacent to the living room. "I'll just prepare dinner now. What would you like Mr. Nishimura?"

"Hm," he answered, and she resisted the urge to yell at him that that was not an acceptable answer.

"I'm in a bit of kale mood, Kagome," his mother spoke for them both, ignoring her son's immediate look of disapproval at both commandeering his employee and the dinner suggestion. "Something light, if you please."

"Oh, of course, ma'am!" she chirped, pulling her long hair into a high ponytail as she prepared the ingredients.

**.**

Dinner went about as well as Kagome expected, but that could also be because she had low expectations to begin with.

"This is Henri," Sesshoumaru introduced slowly, in English, the other individual in the room, "Mother's 'friend.'"

"Oh, let's not be such prudes, Sesshoumaru!" his mother chided him with a click of her tongue, much to his chagrin. She turned to Kagome as the young woman plated each person's dish, and smiled pleasantly, "He is my new lover."

"And that," Sesshoumaru muttered in acknowledgement, ignoring the fact that Kagome's face was now as red as the tomatoes in their salad. He turned away to hide his grimace when his mother began Frenching the Frenchman.

**.**

When the surprise guests and Jaken had all left, it was just Kagome and Sesshoumaru that remained in the penthouse. He had disappeared to his office immediately after dinner, leaving her to finish clearing the table and cleaning up. She was humming quietly as she did the tedious tasks, but she paused when she reached for his plate, which was still mostly full save for some small cuts of his grilled lamb chop. She sighed, not too upset with him this time. Anyone would lose their appetite in the company of that much display of "affections".

She set the plate on the kitchen counter and moved on to the sink full of dirty dishes. By the time she had finished cleaning everything, it was nearly midnight. As she washed her hands, she heard footsteps approaching from the hallways. She looked up, seeing Sesshoumaru walked in with only his pajamas bottom on. She wiped her hands dry with a kitchen towel.

"Are you hungry?"

He nodded.

Then the faintest of grin broke on her face. "Ramen?"

He raised his chin, giving her a haughty look before he strode across the room and leaned over the island counter to kiss her.

"You know me too well."

"I know you dislike kale."

He raised a brow at that reveal. "Then why do you buy it still?"

"You need the nutrients," she answered easily with a delighted poke to his well-muscled abs, "It's good for you."

"You knew my mother would be here."

"I did not!" she answered, offended that he thought she would be in cahoots with the woman to wreak havoc on his life. She would never tell him that she had entertained the thought maybe once or five times, but this time, though, she was completely unaware of the woman's planned visit. "I was pleasantly surprised though. I like her and her visits."

"Hm."

"I like her for giving birth to such a handsome son," she said, clearly stroking his ego.

"Hm?" His frown disappeared for a moment, being replaced with a pleased smirk.

"Who should give a handsome raise for his overworked girlfriend?"

"No."

"Oh," Kagome said quietly, having expected his rejection. She reached into the cupboard where she had stashed the secret supply of ramen. She grabbed one of the packages as she looked for a clean pot to boil water. She casually shrugged. "Then no raise for you either."

He glared.

She turned around, surprised when he had pinned her up against the counter. She gave him her own smirk.

"We could…work out a compromise?" she suggested, slipping out from under his arms. She quickly turned and opened the fridge door, pulling out a bottle of chocolate syrup and a can of whipped cream. She gave him another grin, which was answered by his own knowing smirk.

"I told my roommates my 'boss' might be keeping me up all night." She wagged her eyebrows at him.

"Tell me about your boss," he said, grabbing her wrist and already dragging her up against his chest again. "He sounds like a reasonable man."

"Oh, he's a complete jackass," she said, squirting whipped cream across Sesshoumaru's upper lip. She licked it off before he could even protest. "But I like him enough."

"Hm." He grabbed the bottle of chocolate syrup, and traced it over her lips, giving her a quick lick of his own. His voice was low, soft and sensual against her ear. "Jaken's off tomorrow and I think my mother has satisfied her quota for the number of times to bother me a month."

"No surprise guests?"

"None," he answered, pulling her toward his bedroom.

"What about your ramen?"

He looked at the empty pot and unopened ramen package left on the kitchen counter, and shrugged. "I'll just enjoy dessert tonight."

"You don't deserve dessert," she retorted, stopping halfway through the living room. He was about to protest until he noticed her stripping down until she had nothing on but her apron. The _nice_ mint-colored apron, with frills and lacey everything, he noted with approval.

"Now," she started, removing her hair tie, and letting her long, dark tresses fall down her back gently. She placed a hand on her hip, remarking casually, "Where did we leave off on that raise discussion?"


	2. Romaine Calm

**Author's Note:** I'm in a really weird mindset right now…if my sporadic and random postings are any indication.

* * *

**Romaine Calm**

* * *

"_Mr. Nishimura!_"

Kagome's head immediately shot up from its position on her lover-slash-boss' chest when she heard the panicked squawk. She glared at him when he followed suit.

"_You_ said Jaken was off today!"

Dazed, he answered as arrogantly and confidently as he could, "It _is_ his day off."

He was _almost_ positive anyway, but she didn't need to know that. Sesshoumaru was skilled in the art of bluffing—which was how he had managed to secure his empire by the age of twenty-four—and the key to it all was sheer unfathomable confidence, which he had been told on numerous occasions was a dominate gene inherited by all of the males in his family. He had also pointedly ignored the disapproving tone from the large mass of commenters.

Sesshoumaru's mind quickly thought back to the last time he had seen the date, but it got sidetracked for a moment when he remembered what his little chef did the night before with the whipped cream and her very skillful use of that tongue of hers. Perhaps that raise was in order after all.

Seeing her still glaring, he thought back even further into the day, remembering seeing the day on his cellphone. He gave her another haughty look, repeating his earlier claim with renewed confidence. The sense of superiority was quickly dashed away when they both heard the approaching footsteps.

Squeaking, she quickly stumbled out of bed, gathered her apron and his pants from their respective positions on the night lamp and ottoman, and made a quick sprint for the connected master bathroom.

As the door opened, Sesshoumaru was only mildly annoyed that she didn't leave his pants behind before he remembered her clothes on the floor in the living room.

…_Fuck._

"Mr. Nishimura?"

"You are supposed to be off today," he responded, voice automatically cold. It immediately sent the desired chills down his assistant's back, though it wasn't nearly as satisfying as his previous plan to spend the day in bed with his favorite chef in the world and exploring her culinary taste.

"Forgive me, sir!" the short man immediately groveled, which lightened his mood just a bit, but still not nearly enough to warrant any feeling of generosity from the dour tycoon.

"What business do you have to be here on your scheduled day off, Jaken?"

"Y-your mother has requested your presence for lunch today."

Silence followed the assistant's comment, which the short man felt was not a particularly good sign for him or his health. As much as he greatly admired his young prodigious boss, he was completely terrified of being in his bad grace, which surely was a very probable and very imminent situation.

"What," Sesshoumaru started, feeling the need to drag out each word as he was suddenly overcome with the biggest migraine in the world, "Does. She. Want. Now?"

Jaken swallowed hard. "It seems Fernando found out about Henri."

The migraine seemed to have intensified. "And how is that my problem?"

"They are outside the building fighting."

He blinked.

"And your mother was hoping Ms. Higurashi will stop by to prepare lunch as 'her boys' finish their 'little squabble'."

He blinked again, trying to follow his flighty mother's logic.

"Um, Mr. Nishimura?"

"What?"

"I seem to have noticed clothes that look remarkably like what Ms. Higurashi wore last night in the living room?"

"She accidentally gotten flour on them," he said automatically, "She must have left them there after changing into her backup clothes."

"Is-is that so?"

"Do you doubt me, Jaken?"

"N-no!"

"Then leave before you annoy me even more."

He watched as his assistant quickly shuffled out of the room after a brief bow. He listened for the sound of the door closing before he sighed and gotten out of bed and walked to the bathroom. He opened the door and saw Kagome sitting on the edge of the bathtub, wearing his pants and her apron. Despite the loose and large flannel pants on her petite form, her crossed legs still managed to hold a tempting appeal.

"Always ahead of the fashion trend, darling?"

She smirked in response. "But I like this birthday suit look you have going on. Very Garden of Eden-ish."

His lips were about to quirk up in amusement, but it faltered when he heard her next thought.

"I was wondering what happened to Fernando."

He scowled.

"So what time should I be here 'Mr. Nishimura'?"

"You are a very frustrating person."

"Frustrating. Vexing. Insolent. You need some new insults," she responded, turning around to turn on the water to fill the tub.

He raised a brow.

"What?" she gave him a mock innocent look. "I should freshen up before I have to cook lunch for you and your mother. I could whip up some more kale, if you like."

He glared.

"Now go get me my 'backup' clothes," she teased, but then said in all seriousness, "I think I left it in a duffle bag behind that trench coat you never wear."

**.**

Kagome was washing the romaine lettuce as she listened to Sesshoumaru's mother recount Fernando's surprise visit in the middle of the night and the immediate shock as the two young men began a verbal assault match that somehow resulted in the three of them at Sesshoumaru's apartment building and entering into a physical fight.

She tossed a look of sympathy at her secret lover as he nursed his third glass of scotch. In this case, it was not at all too early to begin the day with some much needed alcohol.

"I mean, how can I choose?" the older woman bemoaned with a pout, "Fernando is the epitome of the Latin lover we all aspire to have! Tanned skin, the sensuous accent, bulging muscles—"

"Stop," Sesshoumaru interrupted, glaring and wondering what past sin he had committed to warrant this type of punishment.

His mother ignored him, continuing, "But Henri! Oh, dear sweet Henri, the romantic. Bright blue eyes that remind you of the endless summer sky."

"And Dmitri?" her son asked wryly, earning a daggered look.

"Is not to be mentioned, _at all._"

"So we should also keep quiet about Alfred as well?"

"What are you implying, son—that your mother is a tramp?"

"I'm sure one of these gentlemen will make a lady of you yet."

His mother looked scandalized as Kagome continued to keep her eyes on the lunch she was preparing. She quickly placed a marinated chicken breast on the hot grill, the sizzles and smell of lemon and thyme immediately cut through the tensed atmosphere and reminded the two of her presence.

"Kagome," the older woman started, startling the younger girl as she was preparing to place the second breast on the grill, "As a young and beautiful woman, certainly you have had your fair share of male gazes?"

"Um," Kagome bit her bottom lip, casting a wary look at her boss and his sudden acute interest in the impending response. "I wouldn't know. I'm always working."

She gave herself a mental pat on the back for her quick response, though the sour expression from Sesshoumaru didn't escape her notice. She realized that was going to be an uncomfortable conversation in her near future. She vaguely wondered if she would have time to buy another can of whipped cream before that happened.

His mother didn't notice either reaction, sighing instead. "You poor thing. Stuck here with the one human in the world who lacks the primal instinct for companionship."

Her son gave her a quick look of annoyance, though he refrained from treading into that topic. Unfortunately for him, though, she continued with her thought anyway.

"His father was certainly not like that. I, myself, just happen to appreciate these male adorations," she explained, though the attitude she gave off implied she didn't really feel the need to justify her relationships. "At this rate, it will be a miracle if he ever finds someone to spend his life with!"

Kagome kept her eyes on her chicken, glad to have hidden the blush that had arose a few comments earlier. She kept her back to them as she flipped the poultry. "Oh, it will be alright, Mrs. Nishimura. He still has Jaken to keep him company."

She felt chills down her back after the last word left her mouth. She didn't need to guess that he was glaring at her back.

His mother sighed again, weary and unaware of the subtle, silent exchanges between the other two. "But you understand what I am talking about, right, Kagome?"

"To each their own," she answered instead, pacifying both parties.

As Kagome removed the chicken breasts from the grill, they heard the sound of approaching sirens outside.

"It seems 'your boys'' playtime is over."

His mother tutted, stood up, and headed for the door. "Insolent child," she said with a hiss, eyes narrowing at her only son, "It's no wonder Inuyasha is our favorite…and he's not even my child!"

She slammed the door shut.

Kagome held up a box of dry pasta. "Do you think she will be back?"

"Undoubtedly," he answered, standing up and heading for the bar to replenish his glass, "She enjoys showing her appreciations for the men in blue. It works up her appetite."

"In more ways than one?" she teased, earning an instant glare, "Oh, come on! It was _right there!_"

"Vexing minx."

"Um…" Kagome's brows furrowed. "Me or her?"

"Yes."


End file.
